It Gets Better

I absolutely love the positive “It Gets Better” campaign that has arisen from the tragic deaths of gay teens who have experienced brutal bullying. It is not right for young lives, who have so much ahead of them, be lost! Yet it is easy to lose sight of possibility in the face of so much hurt. The "It Gets Better" message is relevant to all sorts of young people, not exclusively those who have been bullied for being queer, although that can be particularly tough- any kind of difference can bring ridicule.

To have so many people speaking out about what gifts maturing has brought them is an exciting shift for a youth-centric culture. In their messages, the celebrities and everyday people are sharing how they celebrate what growing up brings, how they've had the courage to embrace who they really are, and how they've created a supportive community, pursued their passions, found love, etc.

Recently I’ve been lucky enough to be helping a small alternative high school set up their field trips and guest speakers for the spring term. We’re trying to bring in a lot of interesting folks who can share a wide range of perspectives, their own path to their current career, what kind of training and education it took to get there, and what skills and interests students can develop now to help them succeed in the field. As I see it, we’re working to counteract several prevalent cultural messages: that high school is as good as it gets, or alternatively that something magical is going to happen upon graduation (or upon getting married, having a baby, etc.) that will make their lives happier and more fulfilling. We each have to do create our fulfillment ourselves, through envisioning what we want, getting support, and working and persevering to create it!

I was bullied a bit as a kid, and might have been even more so in high school had I not flown the coop to go study ballet. Even so, things have continued to improve for me as I get older:

* I've come into greater self-confidence
* I have growing sense of my own attractiveness and unique strengths
* I've gotten validation of my interests, and my vision for my life
* I've met and developed relationships with people who are willing to powerfully stand for what’s possible for me
* I've enjoyed blossoming love
* I discovered a greater appreciation and gratitude for what my body can do
* I have a better understanding of how I learn and what my tendencies are
* I have seen that reinvention is possible

However, it is important to note that things haven't just automatically, magically, gotten better, instead we must become responsible for creating happiness in our lives. It takes work! But sometimes, through curiosity and humor, that work can feel like play, and even in the dark, introspective, soul-searching, struggling times, we can be joyful, appreciative, and playful. Hopefully we learn who we are, what works for us, who will really be there for us, and that though we are vulnerable, we are also extraordinarily resilient creatures.

How has your life continued to improve as you have matured? What do you see that all kinds of kids (and adults, too!) have to look forward to, if they survive long enough? What can you do to help a young person celebrate being alive? What will you do, today, to revel in your maturing life?

To celebration and hope, and life just getting better and better!

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